Several months ago, a student lured me onto Facebook with the promise of robotics photos, and since then, I have been “friended” by a number of students and relatives less than half (or even 1/3) my age. I have to admit that Facebook is not a “natural habitat” for me, so I have to be a little tolerant of discomfort there. Still, there were some things that I felt I needed to call to their attention, mainly because I see it potentially having a negative impact on the future of some bright young students. So in “anti-Facebook” form, I posted the following essay, which might be relevant (or at least entertaining) to some of the folks who frequent here:
A Lugubrious Old Lady’s (LOL’s) Commentary on Young Facebookers
Based on the fact that a large number of my Facebook friends have not yet graduated from teendom, I would be considered by many of you to be an Old Lady. Having reached the nth iteration of my 39th birthday and teetering on the brink of mental pause, I come from a generation of grouchy old folks whose opinions are considered quaint at best, but largely irrelevant. And because I’m not much into futility, I’ve refrained thus far from voicing some concerns (ooh, there’s that word) I’ve had about feed I’ve seen on Facebook, largely from my younger “friends.”
However, I’ve come to realize that “friends” don’t let “friends” dig themselves into a hole, and my reactions to some of the feed are likely to be shared of others of my generation. Unfortunately, Lugubrious Old Ladies (LOLs) and their counterparts, Grouchy Old Guys (GOGs) have a pesky habit of populating institutions like college admissions offices and hiring committees, and thus have the ability to make decisions regarding the quality of your future. Unless you plan to drop out of school and have the ability to fund your own software startup, you’ll most likely have to get on the good side of some LOLs and GOGs along the way. Facebook’s term “friends” is really a misnomer – think of them more as “contacts,” and some of your “contacts” may be potential employers. So here goes with the “contactly” advice.
[LIST=1]
*]Quantity matters. Some of you are posting so often that I wonder, “Does this kid have a life?” While opinions will differ on how often is too often, I think most would feel that once a week or less is fine, and a dozen times daily is not. It’s not a good sign if the last 6 feeds on my home page come from you. Don’t let your teachers and/or employers think, “I need to assign more work to this person!”
*]Quality matters. Thankfully, most of you have shown good taste and sense by avoiding the poisonous P’s (profanity, pornography, and put-downs), and that puts you a cut above many. Good job! However, too much “fluff” can also cause others to get a negative impression of you. We all get bored, so an occasional inane post is no big deal. However, a regular report of your latest YoVille acquisitions is going to create a very different impression than, say, a regular update on the tsunami victims in Indonesia.
*]Be kind when posting and tagging photographs. No one likes to have unflattering pictures of their eyelids, backsides, or partially masticated meal published for the world to see. Remember that the “friends” you humiliate today may be your co-workers writing peer evaluations some day. The quantity principle also applies here – if you post a dozen photos a month, I’ll look at them all, but if you publish hundreds per month, I’ll only look at the first 3 in my automatic feed. (Robotics photos are the exception here, but that’s my personal weakness).
*]Watch the controversial comments. I always enjoy hearing someone say something outlandish and off the wall (yes, I miss having our son around), but sometimes outrageous comments in “print” may come back to bite you. Political statements are especially problematic. There are causes worth sticking your neck out for, but those causes are few and far between, so choose the hill you want to die on carefully (I’ve picked my hill). In particular, if you plan to be a public servant (aka politician) or a pastor, you’ll want to provide as little ammunition as possible for future snipers.
[/LIST]
Believe it or not, I really like (most of) you. You are intelligent and funny, and being around you makes me forget that I have one foot in the grave. And selfishly, I have a vested interest in your professional and personal success. In 20 years, you and your cohorts will be paying my social security and making decisions on legislation that will determine whether or not the plug gets pulled on me. So don’t let me down.
Your “friend” Mrs. P.
P.S. I have braced myself for a barrage of “defriend” submissions. Bring 'em on.